Love in the shadows: Supporting your partner through mental health struggles
Being there without losing yourself
When your partner is struggling with their mental health, it can feel like you’re both walking through fog. You want to help, to fix, to do something - but often, you don’t know how. And while your partner may be the one experiencing anxiety, depression, or another mental health challenge, the impact ripples through both your lives.
Step 1: Acknowledge and validate their struggle
Mental health challenges are real. They can be invisible, but that doesn’t make them any less significant. Let your partner know you see them. You don’t need the perfect words, just honest ones. “I don’t fully understand what you’re going through, but I’m here with you.”
Step 2: Encourage professional help, without pressure
While your love matters deeply, professional support is often necessary. Gently encourage your partner to speak to a therapist, GP, or counsellor. Offer to help them find someone or go with them to an appointment - but be patient. Fear and shame can make it hard to ask for help. Gentle encouragement often goes further than pressure.
Step 3: Learn about what they’re going through
Taking the time to educate yourself can make a big difference. Understanding how depression affects motivation, or how anxiety can shape thinking, helps you respond with more empathy. It also eases your frustration when things don’t make sense.
Step 4: Communicate openly and often
Mental health can silence connection. Keep talking. Ask your partner what they need. Do they want space? Company? A quiet evening in? Share how you’re feeling too, so you don’t carry the weight alone. Communication builds trust and closeness.
Step 5: Take care of yourself
When someone you love is hurting, it’s easy to pour all your energy into them. But you matter too. Take breaks. Do things that bring you joy. Ask for support. You don’t need to carry everything.
Step 6: Set healthy boundaries
It’s okay to say, “I’m not okay with this,” or “I need a break.” Boundaries aren’t about abandoning your partner—they’re about making the relationship safe and sustainable for both of you.
Step 7: Celebrate small moments of progress
Mental health recovery is rarely linear. A good day, a small breakthrough, or a moment of laughter -these are wins. Notice them. Celebrate them.
Being in a relationship during a mental health struggle is hard. But it can also deepen your connection in unexpected ways. When handled with empathy and care, this experience can become something that draws you closer, not further apart.
You don’t have to carry this alone. If your relationship is feeling the weight of mental health challenges, we’re here to support you. Book a session with CHR Therapy to explore how to care for your partner and yourself, without losing connection in the process.